Whether we want to share our feelings or engage in important conversations, we know that it is inevitable to escape the uncomfortability of certain topics throughout a relationship. Many times, the most daunting part of the conversation is actually starting the conversation. Either you can come on too strong with passion or you may be too formal which could project as an intimidating demeanor. Once the discussion begins, the actual conversation becomes a positive release as each partner will express their feelings and truths that they want their partner to know and understand.  

So let’s consider a few different styles by which to approach a conversation:

  1. Send a meme, GIF or article to get the conversation going. This will spark the interest in a way that is more lighthearted than an ‘out of the blue’ burst out or demand for a conversation. When your partner receives the meme or gif, he or she will appreciate the idea that you have sent something outside of a normal text, and consequently he or she will think the idea is charming and endearing. Already you have lightened the mood about to topic! Now depending on the subtly of the meme or GIF, your partner will be inclined to inquire about a deeper meaning behind the gesture or your partner may start to connect your possible thoughts which will spark conversation. As an article has more words attached to it, a stronger initial effect should follow. This effect will allow your partner to more quickly understand the idea of what is troubling you, or at minimum, your partner will be aware of a topic that has your attention. When your partner reads the article, he or she will be more prepared for a conversation because you have allowed your partner some time to reflect on their participation in outcome of your thoughts. Neither of these attention grabbers should replace the actual conversation because you never want your meaning to be misunderstood or misleading. Nothing is worse than sending the wrong message without a moment to clarify! Simply use the attention grabbers to ease into the conversation. 
  2. Think of a small activity that the two of you enjoy doing together.  A lot of times when you are upset with your partner you forget that you actually like/love/enjoy your partner aside from the disagreement that the two of you are having. Enjoying a moment together will allow a less stressful tone to be present during the conversation.  Not only does this put your partner in a comfortable setting but your emotions will naturally be more leveled as well. 
  3. Ask your partner if he or she would like to know how you feel about a certain situation that has happened. This will get your partner’s attention in a non-threatening way. Many times conversations begin without getting your partner’s agreement to be a part of the conversation and in turn, he or she becomes defensive in their attitude and demeanor. Once your partner has agreed to be part of the conversation, a more welcoming tone is set and the conversation can hopefully flow more fluidly with alert ears and an open heart.

Using tactics to ease a conversation do not belittle the importance of having a necessary discussion. Just as palette cleansers prepares you for the next part of your multiple-course meal, such attention grabbing tactics prepare your partner for discussing subject matters in your ever-growing relationship. Ease the intensity and guide your partner’s feelings to a welcoming space for a fruitful conversation.